All Black #1109?

Last night I had a dream. It wasn't about living in a nation where my four future children were judged by the content of their character, but it was relevant to the state of this nation's sporting missus, rugby.

The contents at their most vivid are now hazy, but let me enlighten those who want a touch of bemusement this Friday.

Graham Henry had named me on the bench in this weekend's test against Scotland...being played at Wembley Stadium.

I cannot tell you how pumped I was. My dad was proud, I'd made history by being the first female to be named in the mighty team, people, people were talking. I somehow became shy and started seeking advice from Ian Jones. He told me to call him Kamo. That part was weird.

How did I get named? Turns out I'm big enough to play at international level in the second five spot, despite retaining my 59kg, 5'4" stats in dream world. Nonu had popped his achilles, and when confronted by the media (on a school rugby field no less), Henry was quoted as saying "Nonu is out, Williams is having a baby, and I certainly can't take the field- chortle chortle- Morris has been playing outstandingly lately, and we feel that she is the best person to take the bench despite being a female." I would have thought this type of approach to winning might fly in the current state of cricket, but to have my conscience whip it out for code? Crikey.

But oh how the media loved it everyone! The NZ Herald was knocking on my door, stuff.co.nz had it splashed across the homepage, One News all of a sudden had recruited Summerfield and he was backing me 100% despite substantial doubt across the rugby world.

.

I was the new Stephen Donald you might say.

Cut to the changing rooms. Everyone was present apart from McCaw. We were all sitting around. All of a sudden I was (and I can't lie here, I have to be honest) checking out the All Blacks. Now, admittedly I am someone who has picked her Fantasy Rugby team based on looks. But that was when I was stupid and wanted to be controversial when I worked in a warehouse with 8 males, and was interested in rugby for superficial reasons. Nowadays Kieran Read and Tony Woodcock have as much respect from this little ginger neck of the woods as former France fullback Xavier Garbajosa. Does anyone remember him? He played in the 1999 World Cup. Oh, that's right, that year is banished from ever New Zealander's life. Never happened. You can't even get a tax return from that financial year.

You may as well be calling your peer a cotton headed ninny muggins when you bring up '99. Or 'nam, as an aside.

Anyway, the dream. All of a sudden management walks in to the changing rooms. I get excited, we're about to be given our jerseys! We're taking the field soon! I start thinking that I don't even care if I take the field or not (my size and real world a) lack of rugby experience and b) anatomical differences are catching up with me fast). I plan on donating my jersey to a helicopter rescue place (non-descript in the dream). Richie McCaw starts giving the tactical plan for the game. I sit comfortably in my boyfriend's blue jersey knowing that any minute it's getting ditched for a shiny new black clima-cool number.

Then ol' cappie names the team again. As if we didn't know. I almost tune out since we've ben told who makes up the haka pod. This ritual is obviously just another chance to pat yourself on the back for being ruddy amazing, almost deifying yourself for donning the jersey. I then realise everyone's looking at me.

I've been dropped from the bench. Nonu's back. I slip out quietly to have a cry in the stalls. Henry can't look at me in the eye. I'm no deity today.

Graham then finds me and starts justifying my dropping. I can't quite recall the details, but I do remember him saying something about me being able to join the Black Ferns.

Ah, no thanks G. Tempting, but I will pass. I'd get absoutely dominated in that arena. I might be an amazing rugby player that transcends gender, but I'm not after a death sentence.

Until next time!

L.

Last Chance Saloon: Stephen Donald

My flatmates, and consequently, my brother are the latest beings to jump on me and my pro-Stephen Donald thoughts. Yes Aaron Small, I continue to be outnumbered.

So when, at 6.40pm last night, the majority of the nation heard that he was once more an All Black, I was fairly Chesire-ish in my expression.

Forgive me for lack of technical knowledge once again when it comes to rugby, but the opinion from the Whisky Bar is what I hope can be perceived as a 'supportive considered positive stance with just a hint of healthy cynicism'...

Donald's place on the 30 man squad to the Northern Hemisphere is his last chance. Given that Cruden and Slade have definitely made their names known within the NZRFU and the AB coaching circles, there are no prizes for half-arsed performances.

Donald fell into a slump, a bigger slump than the rest of the team when he was last in black. And the expectation of an All Black is to constantly have the highest level of self-esteem, the utmost confidence, almost flawless performances. And you know what? Fair call. We want to win. Most of the time we do. At the risk of melodramatising losses, four million people suffer when 15 men adorned with a Silver Fern lose. But what is wrong with acknowledging a loss of confidence in one's self? Is it because Pine Tree would never do that? Is it because it's weird when guys start admitting they're not invincible? I think it's brilliant that Donald did what he did, and I also feel strongly that it's a bit rubbish he was out there on his own doing so, although, a crumb of kudos to Henry for stating in today's NZ Herald this:

"I felt for him because he went through a bad patch last year when we did as a team," Henry said. "But he has played the best he has ever played recently."

In an interview last year with NZ Rugby, Donald openly spoke about acknowledging his rut. Graham Henry relegated Donald to 1st Class, but has stayed in touch, and they have both been working on what points needed developing in his game. Whether that is a gritty determination on Donald's part, Henry and Smith believing there is more for us to see, or, dare I say it, a consolation prize for Donald so that he does have one more chance remains to be clarified. Donald's determination has obviously paid off in the selectors' eyes, but the cynic in me, lying just under the support of Donald, thinks that Henry sees this tour as a preliminary gig, and knows that if Donald isn't up to par, then Slade and Cruden remain available and willing for the World Cup.

Also concerning is Daniel Carter's surgery rendering him at the mercy of his specialist. The selectors have claimed the size of the squad to be tight in terms of travel, and yet have gambled on Carter being cleared to play. This leaves Donald as the first five eighth for the team. I don't want to go all soft and say it would be nice to ease Donald into the position, because I think it is a valid point to have the expectation that a player steps up immediately. What is irksome about the potential outcome is that if Donald succumbs to pressure and has a rubbish game, then New Zealand once more starts stoning the poor man. Ideally, Carter would start with Donald coming on at 55, 60 minutes, or Donald starting with a guaranteed 1st half stint and Carter running on after a wedge of orange and some Powerade.

If it was purely on betting whether Donald would ever be an All Black again after the last innings he had, I certainly would be the cat that got the cream today. To an extent, I am, but due to believing this outcome would be, I also believe Donald can do it.

Call it stubbornly backing the underdog if you will. It's not that I doubt him, I just know that he has crumbled before, by his own admission. Further to that though, everyone needs a scape goat, especially the All Black camp (and I don't necessarily mean the camp comes forward with a goat to justify a bad run, they're forced by media and by over zealous kiwis to produce one).

In this game where tactical planning, communication and the stance of every player's psyche aren't always evident, the poor kicking of a No.10, particularly that of Donald, is something that every person watching a game can identify and blame.

In short, whoop whoop for Stephen Donald, and best of luck from one of the 2 in 10 people in New Zealand who are absolutely stoked for you.

PS. Fruean and Weepu, commiserations for very different reasons. 4 years ago, Weepu deserved to be dropped. Today, he does not deserve to be having an ankle bone put back into his leg and hanging out in plaster. I also expect someone is writing the same type of article as I have above in Andy Ellis' defence/praise of return...I'm just saying here that it certainly won't be me.

All Blacks: heroes of the nation once more by a vital cog...

I always enjoy 'ratings' of players. Everyone does it when it comes to union as well.

It generates sparks of chat, each respected voice carrying valid points to back their picks/highest rated players. Legends that hail from regions all over New Zealand are able to somehow infer that their players hold the characteristics typical of a generation that now happily dote on today's All Blacks and the bright future they hold. Every father and son in the country debating key players, every group of young bachelors talking at the television as Somerfield rattles off the weekend's events.

What I do find interesting though is that these ratings are out of 10. Sure Robson has score mainly middle of the road ratings, but none below 5.

The nature of the beast that is rugby union in this country is to criticise but to justify.

It's as if every Joe Public is an All Black as well and feels the need to never put the neck fully on the line to hammer Henry et al as to what is going wrong. We say that "at this level, there's no excuse" for school boy mistakes: well, why have these mistakes occurred? Complex play marred the basics: I'd love to know what, and how long for, fundamentals are covered in training sessions.

France and other Northern Hemisphere teams win by kicking. Basic.
South Africa wins with, well, hot men that have brawn. Kidding. Kind of. They play astutely, and with an unquivering sense of determination. As for skills, jacks of all trades, and mastering them too.

The All Blacks are trying to reinvent the wheel. A step back from that on Saturday, and hey presto! A trouncing of the Aussies.

Anyway, as per, I digress.

Kudos should go to Tom Donnelly for a sound debut on the weekend, lineouts that had been of such concern somehow became a factor of the game that the Aussies could not contest. Bizarre.

As for what is now my usual backing for Stephen Donald? He'll come right (am I backing the wrong horse out of stubbornness or am I fighting the Tall Daniel Carter Poppy fight?)

If he has heart, and we have had glimpses of the player he is (just like the player Henry and Smith was waiting for in Toeava...and got on Saturday), surely experience and guidance will ensure he is the man to be Carter's 2IC?

Right, the ratings. Thoughts on this one courtesy of Tony Robson? I think Tony Woodcock being described as a 'vital cog' is my pick of the summaries...

CLASS OF 2009
Ratings for the All Blacks over the nine test matches played so far in 2009:
Source: http://www.stuff.co.nz/sport/opinion/2883900/Don-t-get-too-carried-away

Mils Muliaina (9 tests) 5.5
Never regained the form and confidence of last season and seemed to struggle with the lack of space to counterattack, losing his instinctive running game as he mulled over whether to kick or run.
Cory Jane (6 tests) 7.5
Strangely cast off after the win over Australia in Auckland, but deserves a regular start either on the wing or at fullback. Has all the skills a modern player needs.
Joe Rokocoko (8 tests) 5
His last test was his best, but still short of the pace that has marked his career.
Sitiveni Sivivatu (5 tests) 7
Disrupted by injury, but unrivalled ability to break the line. Scored just one try, but created countless opportunities.
Conrad Smith (5 tests) 6.5
Injury curtailed his progress, but it was business as usual for the solid centre with few mistakes, and one brilliant try against South Africa in Bloemfontein.
Isaia Toeava (5 tests) 6.5
Has he finally matured? Toeava produced a compelling finish to the season off the bench in Hamilton and for 80 minutes in Wellington. Has acceleration that could be devastating at test level and may be worth further consideration at centre.
Ma'a Nonu (9 tests) 7
The All Blacks' leading tryscorer this season with four, Nonu should not be shuffled from second-five again. Devastating ball-carrier and even when marked draws in defenders.
Luke McAlister (6 tests) 5
Broken cheekbone in Sydney summed up a disappointing return from Europe that did not go to plan. Will probably feature in future plans, but needs a big improvement.
Stephen Donald (7 tests) 5
A big heart, but continues to struggle with the pace of test rugby. Kicking game is too erratic the All Blacks need to develop a better backup for Dan Carter.
Dan Carter (3 tests) 7
Came back to kick the matchwinner in Sydney and immediately steadied the ship with his assured tactical kicking, decision-making and goalkicking. Class player.
Jimmy Cowan (7 tests) 6.5
Defensively brilliant and tough as teak, but option-taking, at times, and kicking game both still need to improve.
Kieran Read (9 tests) 7.5
The find of the season. Grew into his task with each test and has a firm hold on the No8 jersey. Exciting prospect.
Richie McCaw (9 tests) 7.5
Inspirational in Wellington and consistent throughout. A questionable call to turn down a penalty kick in Hamilton and needs a backup to ease his load through to the World Cup.
Jerome Kaino (7 tests) 6
Consistent without getting back to his barnstorming best with ball in hand.
Adam Thomson (3 tests) 6.5
Unwisely tried at openside flanker in the first test of the year, but finished with a blinder in Wellington at No6. Sure to get further chances.
Brad Thorn (9 tests) 8
Probably the pick of the All Blacks' pack in terms of consistently turning out quality efforts. Questions over whether he will last to the World Cup, but a key man in the current squad.
Isaac Ross (8 tests) 6.5
Has to shoulder some of the blame for the lineout wobbles as he was calling them, but overall a solid start to his test career. Probably needs to bulk up, but only a matter of time before he establishes himself at this level.
Neemia Tialata (5 tests) 5.5
Responded positively to being dropped lost weight and produced a strong finish in Wellington. Remains the best tighthead, but must not let up on fitness before the end-of-year tour.
Tony Woodcock (9 tests) 7
A vital cog and unchallenged as the incumbent loosehead. Got better as the season progressed after overcoming a lingering ear infection.
Owen Franks (6 tests) 6.5
A big find for the All Blacks and probably surprised with how well he stepped up to test rugby. Will only get better.
Andrew Hore (7 tests) 6.5
Took a while to get back to his best form and was not helped by the lineout malfunctioning at various times.
Keven Mealamu (6 tests) 6.5
Was starting to regain the zest that marked his early career before injury curtailed his season. Will be missed on the end-of-year tour.

Until next time,
L.

Donald ducks another match on the bench!

I thought today's post would be a little nod to John McBeth's blog on the tvnz website. I personally cannot wait to see how the five-eighths positions work out this Saturday against the 'boks in the 'tron. Despite the fact that both Carter and Donald play the same position, and Carter is the preferred 1st V, I think this match will see a few eyes opened.

Kicking is (obviously) such an integral part of the 1st V position. But look at other aspects of it, and Stephen Brett's game for Canterbury against the Steamers on the 5th September is a good example. Despite the Crusaders losing, and Brett's kicking game not being fantastic, he was the central figure in many of the plays throughout the game. It helps if you are a sound passer in both directions, just like centre, but in the case of the 1st V, have that extra agility to move away from the thick of it as well.

What I think the public need to see is how Donald plays without the pressure of point scoring as a tactical player alongside Carter: Nonu isn't going to be as calculating as Conrad Smith in the centre position, he does play more on instinct and his presence is his strength. I'm excited about this combination. It made me flustered when I initially read that Muliaina was suggested to move to centre...no no no no no no no. After Slade's disappointing match on Saturday, he should not be a starter for full back.

But this is all just one lass' opinion...

Until next time. Good luck to the ABs this weekend!

L.

having the last laugh...

Further to Saturday’s win against the Aussies at Eden Park, it took me great pleasure to outwardly, proudly, display a smug look on my face as I read this article reflecting on Henry's almost last minute call to name Stephen Donald at 1st V for the game.

Those (and there are A LOT of you) who have knocked Stephen Donald since even before he was named in the ABs were hopefully indulging in a sweet piece of humble pie after the game on Saturday.
I'm pro-Henry, and I'm pro-Donald. And while I'm stoked McCaw is back, I'm even more pleased to see Donald proved he was worthy of his place at 1st five on Saturday despite McAlister recently having emerged back on the NZ scene.

I get the sense Donald is yet another 'old school' player that the All Blacks should be lucky to have...we just don't quite know it yet. Henry and Smith are old school leaders; you can't help but stick with their calls. McCaw beyond doubt screams old school with his leadership, stapled eyes and hustle; Smith is a solid, consistent old school AB, Woodcock and Hore can also wear the title with ease. It's not the instinctive flair that keeps me watching a game of rugby (although this does provide for great spectator sport), or working on following what I can of the rules and non-NZ players (there's a line as to where a girl can recall all the phrases. I get lost with that 'breakdown' one), it's the presence of these players who simply get on with the game. Sometimes they're the heroes, sometimes their day in the sun is contained to being another strong link in the chain. That's just me, and I know the team is better for having both show ponies and the stout and true-blues, but I guess I reckon Donald showed that despite the media frenzy surrounding him, he just got on with it. Good on him.

I guess all in all it was great to have a good old fashioned Trans-Tasman clash and while I was gutted to have to watch the replay and rely on text updates from my friend, I suppose there's nothing more satisfying in a game of rugby to see your team fall behind earlier on in the piece, and do nothing but man up, dig it in, and go gung-ho in order to take it out.

Stephen Donald: at the risk of blowing out with a super gay pun, but channelling Joe Cocker on this happy occasion: you can leave your boot on.

Nice work lads, best of luck against the 'boks!

L.